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how I tell stories
  • me:

    and then she was like

  • me:

    and im like

  • me:

    but then shes like

  • me:

    then theyre like

  • me:

    so i was like

  • me:

    yeah like

  • me:

    i know like

  • me:

    ye

  • (I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)

  • Me:

    “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”

  • (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)

  • Mother:

    “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”

  • Boy:

    “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”

  • Mother:

    “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”

  • Boy:

    “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”

  • (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)

  • Boy:

    *sips* “Gotham is safe.”

In French,

You don’t really say, “I miss you.”

You say, “Tu me manques,” which is closer to, “You are missing from me.”

I love that. “You are missing from me.” You are a part of me, you are essential to my being. You are like a limb or an organ, or blood. I cannot function, without you.